skittles (dandylion) wrote,
skittles
dandylion

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love sex and the lies that fuck it all up.

well i guess i give up on love because somehow i always love the wrong person. like the last million times i was interested in a guy it was all too fucked up. either they have a girlfriend, don't like me or im bound to loose them as soon as i feel the slightest bit of happyness. somehow in my life i am attracted to the worst kind of men, it doesn't make any sence! I thought i loved brent and see where that got me...... nowhere. i loved jason and where did that get me...... here away from him. i thought i loved kevin and where did that get me...... when i thought i lost him to jen i cried so hard i got sick and i didn't leave my bed for 2 days. *sigh* i know how it feels to love someone so much i'd give anything and everything for them an d being there is so wonderful while you still have them but as i well know i cannot expect to hold on to anything i love because some how in some way i alway loose them everytime. if anyone wants my advise, stay tru to the one you love and maybe they will be yours in the long run but if you like me and you always fuck EVERYTHING up give up....... for people like me its hopeless. as for the men in my life right now i am surprised that any of you are interested in such a hopeless cause.
I think it's absolutly amazing how sex can turn from one thing into a completely differant thing. somehow when you're with someone just a few things can change the way you look at a person all together. I dunno it may be that little twinkle in their eyes or the warmth of their chest against you back while they are holding you but there are strange things that happen during the before and after sex events.
I think another big part of the whole dating scheme is the thing people say to get each other in bed its really rediculous. A huge problem with dating these days, as a girl, is knowing wether or not to believe the things the guy you're with says. Anyone can say I love you but how many guys say it before sex and acually mean it. After being told I love you so many times you start to think all men are liars and though some are you can't just say fuck it I'm a lesbian. I don't know wether its better to have someone for a momment for the wrong reasons or to stay alone forever for the right ones. I would hate to be alone at all. I know i've got family but what good does that do you when you want to have that special someone in your arms..... none. I wish dating as a teenage girl weren't so damn hard and i think i'm gonna loose it.
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